Jan. 9th, 2011

anzila: (Default)
For those who've been talking to me lately, sorry for being such a sad panda. I'm trying to revitalize my outlook right now to be more positive and less indulgently negative, and since I think one of the major sources of stress may be resolved soon hopefully I'll be able to once again find my center. The basic problem I think has been a lack of positive progress in my job front, and over indulgence in my own frustration. Hopefully with this latest problem being resolved and the fact that I've finally gotten a therapist for this anxiety disorder I'll be able to break this funk.

Well, maybe not quiet yet, but the next step is to find a part time job in my area so I'm not driving at least three hours a week, and I have a bit more consistency. Of course, I utterly loath job hunting, so we'll see how that goes. I just wish I didn't feel so drained and irritable all the time, I can't imagine that's pleasant to deal with. Fell off the RP bandwagon again too, and I still feel like I'm barely seeing anyone outside Prime and my family. Still, gotta be positive. I'm not going to be homeless, and that's a definite good thing. I also do have a long term plan for if I cannot get a job, namely go for a PHD. Hey, it's not perfect, but it'll cover me for five years. Still, I'd like to actually teach and feel like I'm contributing something, I just need to figure out how to get my foot in the door.

Oh right, Activity Check. Gotta do that too, if it's not already too late.

Just gotta think happy thoughts.

New thought: I think part of the problem might be caffeine. My therapist warned me that it could have adverse effects on my condition, and I tend to drink it most over the weekend when I get bleh. Alright, looks like I'm not getting anymore caffeine. We'll see how that goes.

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anzila

December 2012

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